I am writing today because I want to remember a small moment from that left me in tears.
I was going to drop the now-mandatory-if-you-go-anywhere-masks I made for his parents in the mailbox but at the last minute, I decided to deliver them. it was my first outing in more than 5 weeks. I felt uncomfortable behind the wheel. I felt awkward driving a route I've driven many, many times perhaps because the usually crowded road was nearly empty.
Yet, I felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I pulled into the driveway and my grandson came running towards my car. "Stay on the grass," his father who was still inside called out before I could do so.
Yet, he kept running, until somehow, I found the energy and restraint to call out, "Stop right there. You have to stay on the grass."
And he did. He stopped 8 feet away. Yet his arms were open as if to hug me, something so natural and usual upon my arrival.
I stayed in my car, something foreign to me. I'm a Meme and I scoop them into my arms and love them unconditionally.
The look on his face was one of disbelief. At 4.5, how could he possibly understand this pandemic and the need for social distancing that defy the love a grandmother has for the child she has rocked, cuddled and loved more than she loves herself? I wanted, no I needed, a hug from him as well as his brother and sister.
"Can you play toys with me," he implored because that is what I do when I come, normally. "Please," he asked?
I explained that I could not stay but that I would be back, soon, although I am not sure what soon means in this new era of a pandemic.
The visit was short but I saw, from a distance, his Ninja training site and his new fire pit as well as his amazing garden. Then, with tears held back as long as I could, I headed to my car and left. It was raining out, or perhaps it was just my tears, but the losses of life, love, time, cuddles, books, time........were on my mind as I drove away noticing that I had missed a Google-Duo chat with another of my precious loved ones.
The losses of life, livelihood and businesses are unprecedented. The loss of time-with-grandparents-aunties-cousins-family is another loss, harder to measure, but real.
I was going to drop the now-mandatory-if-you-go-anywhere-masks I made for his parents in the mailbox but at the last minute, I decided to deliver them. it was my first outing in more than 5 weeks. I felt uncomfortable behind the wheel. I felt awkward driving a route I've driven many, many times perhaps because the usually crowded road was nearly empty.
Yet, I felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I pulled into the driveway and my grandson came running towards my car. "Stay on the grass," his father who was still inside called out before I could do so.
Yet, he kept running, until somehow, I found the energy and restraint to call out, "Stop right there. You have to stay on the grass."
And he did. He stopped 8 feet away. Yet his arms were open as if to hug me, something so natural and usual upon my arrival.
I stayed in my car, something foreign to me. I'm a Meme and I scoop them into my arms and love them unconditionally.
The look on his face was one of disbelief. At 4.5, how could he possibly understand this pandemic and the need for social distancing that defy the love a grandmother has for the child she has rocked, cuddled and loved more than she loves herself? I wanted, no I needed, a hug from him as well as his brother and sister.
"Can you play toys with me," he implored because that is what I do when I come, normally. "Please," he asked?
I explained that I could not stay but that I would be back, soon, although I am not sure what soon means in this new era of a pandemic.
The visit was short but I saw, from a distance, his Ninja training site and his new fire pit as well as his amazing garden. Then, with tears held back as long as I could, I headed to my car and left. It was raining out, or perhaps it was just my tears, but the losses of life, love, time, cuddles, books, time........were on my mind as I drove away noticing that I had missed a Google-Duo chat with another of my precious loved ones.
The losses of life, livelihood and businesses are unprecedented. The loss of time-with-grandparents-aunties-cousins-family is another loss, harder to measure, but real.
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