#sol21 December 21 If Only In My Dreams

 

Long before I was born, Bing Crosby crooned "I'll be home for Christmas" in a 1943 holiday classic song. At the time, the melancholy image of a soldier far from home, yearning to be with loved ones was clearly on his and others' minds. It's always been just a song on the radio (or on Pandora) not one that I hummed during the holidays!

Yet, that song popped into my mind when I overheard someone respond to the, "What are you doing for Christmas," question with a solemn, "I'll be home for Christmas.  I guess it's the new normal" 

Those words drifted in my head when I heard the rest of the Radio City Music Hall's Spectacular performances were cancelled. 

The words seeped into my mind as I reconsidered plans, out of an abundance of caution.

The message echoed in my head as I thought of all those families and friends estranged since March of 2020! 

The song was playing as I waited for my own PCR test.

Perhaps it is the last line of the song that is the most fitting, again this year.  "If only in my dreams." 

PS
Despite this melancholy post, I hope you and your family get together however works for you and that your holiday season is safe and peaceful.  No matter what, I am hoping we are going into a 2022 where dreams will come true!  

#sol21: December 7: Covid Scars

Not long after getting my booster, not long after the numbers seemed to be trending in a good direction, and not long after my niece wrote about "Surviving Covid, "  I was feeling brave enough to attend an Aqua-Boot Camp session.  I was feeling braver than in nearly 2 years and grateful to see some vaguely familiar faces after a long time away.  The water was unusually cool (the heaters were broken) and the session was more intense than I remembered.  The instructor claimed to be trying to keep us warm; however, our group of shivering bathing suit wearing individuals seemed to "bond" over goosebumps and tired muscles.

After class, we escaped to a masked, dressing room where our stories seemed to emerge we shimmied into our sweats and sneakers.  

"This was hard because I'm still unusually cold these days almost a year after Covid," someone offered as she quickly slid into sweats. 

"Covid has made me cold all the time as well," someone else added.

"My son is still struggling with taste," someone else offered, "it's been 20 months."

"My granddaughter is fighting Covid right now.  She is just a baby but pretty sick, at home," someone else commented.

"My husband died on Thanksgiving last year.  I can say it now, but I still really can't believe it.  He left in an ambulance and I never saw him again.  There was no funeral or memorial service because of Covid and it still does not seem real. I am glad I can come here to see familiar faces," someone else added eliciting comments of support and sympathy from everyone in earshot.  Most of us stopped breathing for a moment as she shared her story.

On the way home, my newfound bravery was replaced with a reality that Covid has impacted us all - even if we have been lucky enough to survive.  Just about everyone lost someone in their circle of family or friends.  Just about everyone's family and friend relationships have been strained.  Just about everyone has scars that are raw and painful.  The emotional, economical, and societal scars of Covid are real and raw.....21 months after it first altered the course of our lives.  Like all life changing events, if we are lucky, we will be survivors with Covid scars.

#SOL November 30 Terror, Thankful

 

It was early evening when I heard the sirens and saw the lights rush past.  I glanced out my window to see a terrifying sight in the night sky.  The flames danced as if overjoyed to race through old walls; yet, there was a family whose lives were altered.

This time,

There is much for which to be thankful:

The family was safe,

Their pets rescued,

The house, saved.

So during this season, 

I give thanks for those

Who serve as firefighters.

PS: This is a good week to donate to volunteer firefighters 

and check your smoke detectors! 

#sol21 November 16 The Face in the Mirror

 

As I finished a vigorous morning tooth brushing, I glanced into the mirror to make sure my teeth were sufficiently clean before I began flossing those inner most spaces. 

I was not expecting my mother to look back at me; however, an uncanny resemblance of her was in the mirror. In reality, she was on my mind as it was the anniversary the ceremony of her exit from this world to be with my dad, my brother, her sisters and parents. In reality, it was not the first time I have looked into the mirror and seen an increasing physical resemblance.

Physical similarities aside, I am not my mother. I lift weights and do not have her signature string bean arms. I avoid ham and cheese casserole and skip the daily Scotch on the Rocks in lieu of grilled veggies and a glass of vino, now and then.  

Most importantly, I learned how I didn't want to live and how I wanted to live my life from watching my mother' and her generation: I'm embracing  healthy eating; looking ahead; enjoying my career, accepting a not-perfect home, and embracing the small moments of life. 

Yet, the face in the mirror increasingly resembles my mother, who I do miss.

#sol21 October 5, 2021 The Day The Window Popped

The morning started with a gentle rain and thick clouds that suggested there would be more rain and yet with the promise of many accomplishments.  I made my to-do list and smiled, confident that I could do it all. Then, I dropped my gym bag into the trunk, eager to start week 2 of my "take care of myself" program.  

    As I turned the first corner, I heard the familiar sounds of a stump grinder amid a bevy of trucks making it hard to see what was ahead.  Then, I heard the thump of what I thought was a wood chunk hitting just behind my driver's seat.  "Those folks should have set up one of those screens to protect people who are standing around.  That chunk would have hurt someone," I thought. I looked around for the name of a tree service on the side of a truck thinking I would not want to use that company but I did not linger as the traffic was backed up a bit! I did wonder if I would find a ding in the side of my car, but I did not linger on that thought with a day full of potential ahead of me.

   Arriving at my first destination, I reached for the door handle and a pop that sounded like fireworks stopped my eager anticipation of the day in its tracks.  The window was now a million little pieces of glass spilling onto the road, the floor; somehow avoiding the fortunately empty at that time car seat.

     My to-do list was altered as I explored options for glass replacement of a rarely replaced window (outside of car crashes) an era of supply chain shortages.  I did not make it to the gym; however, I learned about: windows that shatter to allow rescues; crash wrapping that allows you to keep driving; and insurance deductions that allow you to just buy a window!  

     The day ended with more of that gentle rain, a few unplanned tasks, and a grateful, even if under-exercised, heart.

 

#sol21 September 28 :Out of Touch

 "You haven't written a SOL post in a while," I thought as I watched the sky brighten the horizon and marveled at the crisp fall weather.  "Do you have something to say or do you have too many stories to tell to figure out which one? I thought as I put one foot in front of the other.  "Write them down," so you will remember, I thought as I turned the corner towards home.

"Can I give you a hug?" she asked as if we were meeting for the first time or on a first date rather than loving each other for nearly half a century! The simple and respectful question during this Covid-era has lingered in my thoughts for days now. I guess I (like most of us) took hugs from friends and relatives for granted in the Pre-Covid-era.  To be honest, I have pretty much stopped hugging and hand shaking except for my grand children even though I am fully vaccinated.   

Then, I saw a video clip of Former President Obama politely hugging three individuals who will be instrumental in his Presidential Center in Southside Chicago and that simple and respectful question reminded me that we ALL need the physical touch that this lingering pandemic has taken from us.  

That simple and respectful question in these uncertain times reminded me that exercise is not enough to keep a body "in tune."  , like most of you,  am out of touch and I don't like it!  

  

#sol2021 July 27 Present

I watched her focus on her phone, perhaps texting, scrolling, scanning, emailing, as her toddler wandered around the area aimlessly picking up sticks and leaves and rocks.  He made no attempts to engage in labeling of found treasures or conversation.  I wondered if he had a language delay or perhaps he just knew she was busy/distracted. Perhaps she was the babysitter/nanny or perhaps she was the mom/daytime caregiver; I really don't know and it really does not matter.  Perhaps she was distracted with family issues or perhaps her job /school/business or perhaps the world of social media. She was there in the park on a beautiful afternoon, but she was not really present in that child's life at that moment. 

I'll never know how the scenario played out over time as eventually I continued on my journey. Trust me, I am in no position to judge others as I graded papers, responded to writing journals and sometimes grabbed bits of the daily paper during my own children's ball games. 

But, I've been thinking about her and that little one who might have benefitted from some interaction and discussion about his finds.  I've been thinking about the myriad of teachers, parents, and caregivers balancing the many, many intersecting identities we have every day.  It reminded me of the days when my own children's needs were great and I would have to leave my mommy hat in the car along with my concerns and worries in order to don my teacher hat and meet the needs of my students.  

It was also a reminder, to me, to be present, not just a presence, in the lives of the people around me.  Perhaps she was there as I needed that reminder.  Perhaps we all need that reminder from time to time.

21st Century Day Connecting

 I wonder if my parents and grandparents ever stopped to think about how their family tree would morph and change over time?  Could they have ever imagined that cousins might stay in touch through cyberspace and I-pads?

Folks in my grandparents times were not alone when they "left their families" overseas to start families with limited, at best, contact with relatives.  In fact, family times was most likely limited to weddings (occasionally), funerals (sometimes) and letters (via snail mail even in those days). 

In my parents era, that ubiquitous Christmas card letter was probably added to the wedding, funeral, and snail mail letter list of gatherings, along with occasional family gatherings made possible by cheap gas and family cars.

While life is no less busy now, the isolation of families over the past year has certainly heightened my own thoughts about gathering with my surviving siblings, cousins, and dear friends in real time.  While there is no substitute for human touch, I am grateful for the "gift" of living in the 21st Century: we can connect in almost real time in spite of distance and contraindications through email, texts, Instagram, Tik Tok, and now old fashioned forums, like this blog. 

So, here is an  "old fashioned" and heartfelt, early 21st Century-type, day-late-birthday wish for my cousin, who also happens to be one of my most loyal non-educational blog post fans!

#sol21 They're BACK!

 

Thanks to Two Writing Teachers for encouraging me to write!

I wrote earlier this month about the bird's nest that consumed my mother's day gift to myself to watching children fly from the nest. 

"Remember how you were a little sad when those baby birds all flew away? she asked and without waiting for an reply, she added, "they're back!" 

And sure enough, they're back, at least cousins of my recent sublets!

I've never spent so much time watching birds build their incredible nests in strange locations that somehow protect fragile eggs from wind, rain, and the baking sun.  It's amazing how they select their locations, create their masterpieces, and nurture their babies as they grow at a breakneck pace towards maturity.  

This time, the nest rests precariously in a non-working, full-on-rusting, lantern where I was planning on hanging another plant!  

Plans for that plant are on hold as I am "expecting" little birdies on the porch, once again. 

Status: Empty Nest

WAY back on May 25th, I posted on the SOL about my eggs, sitting happily in my lovely hanging planter.  Since then, lots has happened around here.  I'm teaching Grad School in what is lovingly referred to as "Summer Session I" and my days and nights are full of papers, responses and Slides.  It's two times a week for three hours for each class.  It's grueling and invigorating and inspiring and exhausting and powerful because it is intense!

Yet, here is the amazing thing about Mother Nature.  While I am busier than a 2-armed-paper-hanger in a post pandemic-fix-up-your-house-era, those eggs, all of them hatched and the baby birds learned to fly and then left me with an empty nest!  Seriously, we watched the flying practice for two days, on and off and then the nests were empty!  

The comparison to raising children is not lost on me as the days are long, yet the years fly by.  In less than a month, ALL of my baby birds are gone from the nest and off to make their fortune in the world.  

I could be sad or I could be melancholy; however, I am too busy right now to determine and confirm those emotions. 

 Much like Moms and Dads in their busy season of life (21+ years for humans; 21+days for birds) all I can do is acknowledge I frugally watered the plant and watched those fledglings until they were ready to move out on their own.  

Much like teachers everywhere and forever, I am busy guiding my students as they prepare to lead our schools and districts towards a future where everyone is a reader engaged in stimulating curricula.  The analogy to the birds is not lost to me; those students will too flee the nest and head off to make a difference in the lives of their students.  

The days are long; the weeks, for those of us who are enduring Summer I, are short.  

#sol21 May 25: Got Eggs?

On Mother's Day, I bought myself a hanging planter, a bit of an impulse purchase, as its red and purple flowers seemed to be a sign of hope after a long, hard year.  

When I took the planter off the hook last week, I was not expecting to find four tiny, speckled eggs nestled in a tiny nest!  I hurriedly put the plant back on the hook without watering it.  Later, I used a step stool to take a picture when the Momma headed out to feed.

"Just water it," someone said, "those eggs will never survive anyway."

"That's a crazy place to build a nest," someone else commented. 

" It's certainly not the brightest bird," 

So, here I am, even though I was not a "bird watcher" in the past, watching nest and waiting for the arrival of tiny birds.

Here I am, more than a week later, watering my plant gingerly, when the mother flies off to feed, so as to not water the nest or disturb the eggs. 

Here I am, more than a week later, researching the kind of bird that would lay such a tiny speckled egg (not sure, maybe a finch?)

Here I am, waiting for my babies to be born. 

I guess that plant really was a sign of hope after a long year.  

To Mask or Not To Mask

 

😷

I intended this to be a SOL post, but not published in time....

  

I am a rule follower, most of the time. I obey the speed limit (with the 5 mph variance) and I follow guidelines for drinking enough water and eating in a healthy manner. 

I will admit, however, that I do challenge rules when they go against facts and research.  For example, when a principal told everyone (K-3) to teach reading 3X week and writing 2X a week for  30 minutes, I did not follow that rule!   

So, when I read the CDC changes to mask wearing, I wanted to follow the rules. I wanted to ditch the mask that I find annoying even though children wear them without complaint all day long. I wanted to return to normal life as it was before Covid.   

Perhaps, my reluctance is that not too many weeks ago, I was burning the midnight oil trying to get a vaccine.  Perhaps, my reluctance is because I have not had a cold or virus in 15 months - and I am not alone!  Perhaps, my reluctance is because so many people are not vaccinated and they are everywhere!  Perhaps, the mask means I don't worry about make-up! Perhaps there is something allusive about this whole masking world where I can and do live behind it! 

I really want to visit, hug, and travel.  I really want to laugh, eat out, and swim in the pool.  I even want (and need) to take an exercise class.  I really want to go to Target, TJ Maxx and Home Goods.  I certainly need to buy new jeans, shirts, and, let's be honest. underwear!  

Yet, here I am, deciding to be a rule follower, or not to be a rule follower; to mask, or not to mask while the memories of the anti-maskers from a few months ago intermingle with my own wants, needs, and dislike for masks. Here I am, wondering about the socio-politcal roles and implications for decisions and rules. here I am, worried to my core for those who cannot vaccinate for health reasons and those who cannot vaccinate for trust or other issues.  Here I am, 15 months into this life altering pandemic, more unsure than ever as to who and what to believe. Here I am, hoping that personal and or political agendas are not factors in rules.

I think I know which direction my heart is headed; however, I may need a bit more time before I let the world see my smile! Or perhaps,  I may just follow the rules, and let it all hang out!

#sol21 May 11 Hoping For Strep?

Did you ever make an appointment to take a "sick" child to the doctor because they had a fever, had been miserable for a couple of days, had no appetite, had been lying listless on the couch....and then when you got to the doctor's office, the child perked up and seemed fine?  

I did, and most of the times, the child still ended up having strep or an ear infection; but, sometimes, we left with the news that it was mostly just a passing virus, but to watch them and return if it got worse.

So it is with my leak that has been coming and going and coming and going.  I thought it might be a "user interface" with the children who hang out here these days. Then, I thought someone had moved the water valve at the back.  There seems to be an intermittent leak at the bottom, in the front of my one year old "potty".  It seems to be clear water, or at least I want to hope it is clear water!  Yet, this morning, as the plumber is due to arrive any moment, the leak is not there!  

I'm hoping this is one of those "perked up at the doctor's moments" that will yield a "strep-like-potty-problem" rather than one of those watch it and let me know if it gets worse days! 

 

@sol21 May 4 Vaccination Rewards

 

I come from a family of "news junkies," as memories of my dad include his 24-7 CNN obsession while recovering from a broken neck and his up-till-the-end obsession with The Times.  

Admittedly, my first moments of each day are spent with the digital news as I prepare to face the day.  

During this Covid-era, I've "opened" the virtual Times daily to scan the numbers and cry for those lost, I've read about the politics of masks and treatments. I've read about the search for vaccines and the challenges of distribution. Today's news is a first and I actually had to do a quick Google search because I first thought it was a joke!  

Here in New Jersey, where people like me pulled all-nighters just a month ago in order to find a vaccine, they are now offering "rewards" for getting a vaccine!  To be honest, I think the real reward would be an end to this global siege that has claimed and paralyzed lives; however, here, you will also get an adult beverage as a "reward.  I am certain, my dad would have a chuckle over this news!  

#sol21 April 27: Every Day

Today is my brother's birthday

He is not here to celebrate

But, I will still acknowledge

The day he was born

He is on my mind

Every day.

This week, after a long wait,

These guys were here

To celebrate the intermingling

Of medicine and patience.

They are always on my mind

Every day.

This year, marked with sadness

Fueled by isolation and fear

Is a reminder to embrace,

To appreciate each day

As if it mattered

To acknowledge 

Those we think about

Every day.

 

#sol21 Against the Odds

It's been a long year

Confinement, isolation, remoteness,

Languishing,

Even as the landscape greens,

Even as the trees burst with color,

Even as the beans flower

Against the odds,

Inside my window.

#sol21 Muddy Puddles

A picture would save words here, but I was too mesmerized to get one.

"Watch this," he said proudly as he ran full speed towards the edge of the yard, laughing and waving his arms.  I watched proudly, but not sure where the run was ending or what was happening, but sure the excitement was high on this unseasonably warm afternoon. 

 "Ahhhhh," he crooned as he landed, slip and slide style in a brown, mud puddle that had already seen many, many landings that afternoon. "It's a mud pit for pigs," he added proudly. "I made it myself," he offered emerging covered in mud after writhing in the soft, gooey pit for just a minute and preparing to do the run all over again. "This is so fun," he smiled, covered with mud.  

I smiled, grateful for parents who realize the power of creative backyard play, muddy puddles,  and soapy water.  

Two Vowels Did NOT Go For a Walk

I recently heard a teacher say, "When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking." I stifled my sigh, I think; but, not my sadness that this old teacher tale was still being offered as a way to approach unfamiliar words. 

So, I did a quick Google search and found the myth was all over the internet! I wanted to cry!

 

There are many studies that disprove this myth.  Incredibly, it's only about 36-42% of vowel teams in common words that follow that "rule" depending on which collection of common or frequently found words you use.

A few vowel teams do follow that pattern most of the time: ay (way), ee (green), oa (coat), oi (coin) and oy (boy).

The rest of the teams that do not follow the old tale! 

The vowel team ea can say e its name as in eat, its sound as in bread, or the long sound of a as in great. 
The vowel team oo can say oo as in cool or oo as in good.
The vowel team ew can make the sound in few or in sew.
The vowel team ey can make the sound in money or in they.
The ie team can say thief or lie.
The au team can  make the sound in fault or in laugh.
The ou team can say pouch, boulder, couple, should, or cougar. 
The ei team can say receive, forfeit, or vein
The ai team can say rain, plaid, aisle. or said.

This does not mean we do not teach vowel teams; rather, it means we teach the strategic patterns such as, ai is usually in the middle of a word and ay usually is at the end!  Perhaps I need to make tee shirts that say two vowels did not go for a walk! 

Hard Memories

It was a picture that "popped into" my feed as "you have memories;" yet, it churned up a whole pile of memories, some hard! 

That fall, I was exhausted trying to balance the challenges of cuddling two brand-new miracles, in two different cities and supporting their parents, navigating new-parenthood. 

My mother was still living at home, with heaps of support, and a palliative care plan.  There were more bad days than better days.

It had been just a few months since my decades-long-marriage ended abruptly sending me into an era of living in my car, juggling decisions, and visioning a cloudy future. 

It had been months of talking to no one, other than my therapist, and doing nothing, other than driving from one site needing-wanting my time and energy to another.

There had been many days when I did not eat (other than energy bars and coffee from Mobile on the Run) as I fueled my car before heading to school.

Then, after a long illness, after years of waiting to join my dad, my mother died. 

In the days that followed, I cleaned and organized the contents of her condo taking a few pictures to share with nieces and nephews so they could  take and make their own memories.    

To be honest, I think I my emotions vacillated between empty and relieved as I tried to capture photo images, late at night.  Facing a cloudy future, I took nothing, not even that family tree with roots in the 1800s.  

Yet, this morning, as I stared at photo on my phone, I saw, for the first time, the light on the picture.  

Clearly, there was a message in that memory: Even in the hardest of times, there is light if you stop to notice it.  

sol21 Concrete Messages

 

 Not far from my window

Fresh messages appeared,

As if I needed to be reminded

To smile,

To notice sunshine,

To be kind,

To eat ice cream.

In all honesty,

Holidays can be hard

Trying to celebrate life

Remembering loss,

Still trying to navigate

Vaccines, masks, new variants. 

Many others stopped,

Noticing, thinking, smiling.

In all honesty,

I needed all those messages,

Well, not to eat ice cream!

#sol22 March 31 The Challenge

Thank you Two Writing Teachers

For creating this wonderful community

And for hosting this massive SOL Challenge. 

"You should keep writing every day," she said casually, as if she was noting I should take a shower every day because it was good for others!  

"It's a lot of pressure," I volunteered, "every year I wonder if I can possibly add this to my list and consider not dong the SOL. Then, every year I marvel when I do it. . It is a reminder that the more you write the easier it is to write."

At the finish line of this year's marathon, I am thinking about all the routines of life, commuting, cleaning, cooking, laundry, exercising and eating healthy.  All of them are easier when you just do them every day and keep your momentum going.

Yet, that is the challenge, to keep your eye and mind focused on what is important. To keep yourself from the distractions of reality TV, the last chapter, and a gooey snack. 

It's a challenge every year, but I plan to return on Tuesdays while I wait for next March.

Thank you to all who stopped by

Taking a moment to read, reflect,

Shared a kind word,

It is true that comments fuel

Writers.

#sol21 March 30 Spring Break

 

This month, I am noticing and reflecting,

Writing daily as part of the Two Writing Teachers' Challenge

Spring Break Reflections: Through the Years

Spring Break circa 1961 Windows were open and the sounds of neighborhood kids waffled into to the bedroom where I was holed up with itchy, scratchy, chicken pox. 

Spring Break circa 1970 Protests and passionate discussions along with gunfire in Ohio closed college campuses as I yearned to be on a college campus. 

Spring Break circa 1985 Spring Break was cancelled due to the debacle of cleaning up asbestos during the Winter Break!  

Spring Break circa 1990 My children were back at school, so I cleaned, raked, and (shh,...relaxed) as they had been off the earlier. I was exhausted, though, after trying to manage their different break! 

Spring Break circa 1999  "Baseball every single day of this vacation?" I asked in disbelief of the schedule in front of me. 

Spring Break circa 2006 We hiked for hours through the still soggy woods in incredible spring sunshine that filled our hearts and souls with hope and light in spite of sadness.  At the top of the mountain, we saw sat in awe of nature.

Spring Break circa 2010 Spring break was cancelled because of too many snow days.  Those who were lucky enough to have nonrefundable tickets went away, the rest of us were stuck in school. 

Spring Break circa 2012 We made cupcakes and had tea parties with tiny china tea cups. Then we did arts and crafts til' we crashed, the girls and I both! We never left the house. 

Spring Break circa 2020 We never left home as the fear of the rapidly spreading virus consumed our thoughts and movements.

Spring Break circa 2021 Older and wiser, I reflect that this is not a big get away week for me and I realize it is really only students and teachers who get a Spring Break.  Thus, I feel a bit guilty complaining that totally online classes do not take a break!  Sigh, but shhh..I am....

#sol21 March 29 Great British Bump Off

Before we started,

I needed to find the link

Buried in a sea of texts and emails. 

"Was I supposed to download something?"

"Do we have to bake something?"

Others began roll playing right away.
It seemed as if they had done this before!

I scanned the directions,

Tried to understand my character,

Made a cup of tea.

Oops, timed out of Zoom.

Resend, restart,

Change my screen name

Introduce ourselves, 

I became Cia Batta, 

Self-centered opera singer.

One donned a hat,

No other costumes,

No sets, no props,

No cake, no rolls,

A virtual, for sure

 Baking competition

Murder investigation.

A socially distanced family celebration,

Aunties, uncles,

Cousins, second cousins,

A birthday from afar

2020-2021 style. 

It was 

The must fun I've had on a Saturday night

In quite a whilte! 

#sol 21 March 28 Perspective

Thank you to the Team at Two Writing Teachers

For hosting this writing challenge.

I squeezed out the last drops of Trader Joe's shower gel,

Lingering in the steam with my thoughts.

I used the curling brush, taming frizzy ends

Adding smoother to my locks,

I picked an outfit, carefully, 

Layering a matched sweater

I selected earrings, 

Used blush, mascara,

Hoping I looked 

As excited as I felt. 

Today is a special day,

From my perspective.

Filled with hope and potential,

Hugs and visits,

It's Vaccination Day!

#sol21 March 27 His Story

 

This month, I am writing daily

Two Writing Teachers' SOL Challenge

We see each other, 

Almost daily from afar,

People of a certain age,

Donning ear pods, windbreakers,

Walking as if our lives depended on it,

While so many others run by,

Just before sunrise.

I've long wondered

About his story.

Where does he live?

Is he walking before he spends

Too many hours watching television?

Is he walking to manage stress?

Is he walking to keep off pounds?

Is he walking to keep up with grandchildren?

Is his wife still asleep?

Does his wife relish the break when he walks?

Is he recovering from a heart attack?

Is he a former runner with a knee injury?

Clearly, I've written his story

In my mind.

I've long wondered

If he wonders about

My story?

#sol21 March 26 Where do you find books?

 

This month, I'm writing

Thanks to the TWT Challenge 

In the evening, I make a bit pot of (caffeinated) tea, start up the Zoom, and welcome grad students to share strategies for supporting struggling readers and writers.  I stay logged in after class to answer a myriad of questions about students and managing teaching/learning in these challenging times.  Sometimes, they just want to share a mute-unmute story and sometimes they have stories  and questions that break my heart. Sometimes, all I can do is to listen and encourage.

"I want to get all those mentor texts you show and I want to put books in the hands of all my students like you suggest.  But, where do I find all those high interest, just right and engaging books," she asked. 

It was late, after 10, as I looked around my house, filled with books for grandchildren and began talking about book resources to a newbie teacher in a high needs, city school district. 

Meanwhile, I thought about:

• All those books I have purchased over the years..
• All those freebies from conferences..,
• All those yard sales over the years...
• All those family and friends who donated books...
• All those Scholastic book sales....
• All those bookstores,,,,
• All those Amazon orders...
• All those former students and families who shared outgrown books...
• All those books I made because I did not have the right book..
• All those books sitting in the back of classrooms, forgotten..
• All those books sitting unused in crowded bookrooms and storage rooms..
• All those books books sitting unused right now but saved by teachers, just in case their grade changed...
• All those teachers, like my friend, who shared her collection (after retirement).  Some are in my living room, but most were passed to newbie teachers and their students. 
• All those underused books lying around....just waiting....
• All those teachers wanting/needing books and how to create a distribution system....
• All those underused books resources needed a distribution plan.....books belong with readers!  

#sol21 March 25 Becoming a Writer

It was a perfect spring morning,

I was sure we needed fresh air,

She grabbed a notebook, pencil,

Headed outside to explore, notice,

Experiment with

Letters, sounds,

The power of words

To convey ideas. 

Like this spring, 

It's new

Filled with potential.

"This is what we will eat in the wilderness,"

She giggled as she shared her list,

A stick,

A rock covered with dirt,

A dirt salad,

A rock covered with moss

A rock

#sol21 March 24 A Different Duckling

I took a deep breath when he pulled the old book from my bookshelf where I had decided it needed to rest. For a few years, I've tried to focus on stories that do not have characters bullying unless I am specifically focusing on the impact of belittling or the power of kindness. Yet, I do I know the power of finding a "new" to you book in a bookcase.

"That's not nice," he cried as I read about the other animals teasing THE ugly duckling (from the classic tale)

"How about we call him different," I offered already sensitive to the words of the classic story.  That's why I had shelved it, I thought to myself, changing the story as I went.  

I was proud that a preschooler was thinking about using kind words; however, I was thinking about whether it is better to share these old classics under the lens of how words can hurt OR is it better to just focus on books that show the kindness we want our students to embrace.  

I'm not sure of the answer, but for now, the book is off the shelf and will be renamed, The Different Duckling.  It will be in the rotation along with a host of books that show the diversity and kindness of  physically, racially, culturally, socially, economically, or politically diverse people. 

#sol21 What Was I Thinking?

 

It took me five weeks to assemble a Little Tikes Cozy Coupe, a tiny little red and yellow classic that will forever be a reminder to rethink any Little Tikes assembly project. In the end, I recruited the parents of the intended user. To be honest, the web site and discussion boards say the problem is an old design that does not exist in any other products. I'll never know. I now look for such items by the side of the road and rehab them.

It took me 6 months to assemble a gas grill which I ordered after I could not figure a way to bring home an already assembled grill in my compact car. To be honest, I put the project on the back burner for 5 months after growing frustrated. In the end, I got everything assembled and have a wonderful grill. I should have taken the stress of that project as a sign to just pay whatever it costs for delivery.

I have been wanting to rent a power washer for several years to rid the patio of moss and dirt, but again, I cannot fit one in my car. So, with the pandemic looming and the thought of more days at home this spring/summer, I ordered one.  It came quickly arriving with a giant thud on the porch as I finished my grading.  The sight of the box filled with a million pieces and untold hours of stress brought back all the old memories of assembly.  Then, I tried to lift it and I cannot!  What was I thinking? 

So here is sits. How long do you think this will take? 

j

#sol21 March 22 Not Just a Statistic

 

A friend,
Kind, in word and deed,
Generous, in nature and being,

So many shared memories,

Adventures, birthdays, school,

In recent years, 

We gathered rarely,

Yet, our stories were 

Intertwined by our children

Life choices.

A wife, mother, grandmother,
An aunt, cousin, friend.
An immeasurable loss,

Not just a statistic,
In the tally of losses.

Each one, someone's 

Noreen.

#sol21 March 21 Closer to Normal

 

They took a few trucks from the garage

Slowly, lovingly, they drove them through the muddy garden,

I wonder if deep inside, they were remembering the last time.

They took the aging tractor out for a spin, or two or three,

Peddling with gusto as if they were on a mission,

I wonder if they were remembering Sundays before quarantine. 

They took out the soccer balls and the basketballs,

We practiced shooting and dribbling,

I wonder if they were thinking how much stronger they were

After a year.

They ran and played and laughed and were giddy,

Even though we stayed outside and we wore masks,

I wonder if they were thinking this was the new normal

Or if it means we are closer to normal?