After a wonderful day spent with my own family in celebration of life, I caught a glimpse of an incredible Manhattan evening, Kleinfeld gown, many bridesmaids, bells and whistles kind of wedding. I was in a reflective mood so I thought long and hard before I tried to write something witty and wise on social media.
- I thought of a newspaper article about a couple married for a long time. http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/article/20130907/NEWS01/309070020/anibal-anniversary-71-years
- I thought of an image coined by a crafty blogger who has been through a lot yet chooses joy http://www.lilblueboo.com/2013/08/a-short-guide-to-a-happy-marriage-the-download.html
- I thought of a long, winding road of figuring out how to be us while holding onto me, learning to cheer rather than be cheered, learning to be excited when exhausted.
- I remembered wonderful, challenging days of growing a family, with pets, or with children, though sharing nieces and nephews.
- I pondered the soccer games and family responsibilities amidst the demands of careers and bosses who only vaguely remembered strep throats!
- I remembered forgotten anniversaries, Valentines' Days, birthdays and vacation days, those times when little things became huge fights filled with, "You never," or "Why do I always."
- I wondered if they know happiness is not depended on the actions of others and that our careers, our actions, and even our faith cannot be fully shared.
- I reflected on the frustration that comes from balancing many intersecting identities and times filled with controlling rather than accepting, reacting rather than forgiving.
- I pondered the times I wanted to run away, give it up, do it on my own and the profound joy of thinking "we made it after all."
- I wondered if they would choose to be happy, filled with joy for what they have or become despondent, filled with what might have been.
- I thought of parables focused on hope, prayer, forgiveness, patience, and flexibility.
- I prayed their faith would bring comfort and grow exponentially and that their love, but a tiny grain of sand yet, would become a wide, safe beach from the ocean waves of life.
- I hoped they would realize that "perfect" is not possible in weddings, homes, marriages, life.
- On a nearby scrap I penned, May your lives be filled with more happiness than sadness, more hope than despair, more forgiveness than self-centeredness, more love than hate.
- It didn't seem romantic, or flowery, or eloquent even if it was parallel construction with a poetic edge.
- So instead, I wrote, "Wishing you a lifetime of caring, sharing and loving," just like on a Hallmark card. It was simple with parallel construction. I hope some day, they know what I meant.
8 comments:
Anita,
Your reflections on the wedding day sure made me think-still am!
My favorite line is how you compare the growing love and a grain of sand-becoming as wide as a beach to protect it from the waves of life! Great imagery!
Marriage certainly is no stroll on the beach-I hope they get what you meant someday too!
"Wishing you a lifetime of caring, sharing and loving,
It takes time to appreciate the experience before you can get to the essence of life.
I so agree. I also seem to take weddings more seriously lately.
Bonnie
Gee, I never thought of that line: Marriage is no stroll on the beach!
So true...but like anything that is worthwhile, it takes hard work, planning, compromise....
I thought of a long, winding road of figuring out how to be us while holding onto me, learning to cheer rather than be cheered, learning to be excited when exhausted.
So, so true!
I needed this today! Such simple words but so important to remember at all times. After a crazy busy day of bustling around (trying to start own law practice, trying to finish up 1st novel, feeling totally overwhelmed), this was a wonderful reminder to come home to. Gotta go- thanks for commenting on my blog about my dog, Maggs. She is demanding a walk now though!:)
I'm amazed at how much thinking you did from seeing that over-the-top wedding party and the bride in the Kleinfeld's gown!
You were so taken by that image, Anita, with maybe a little too much glitter & you began to wonder if they really understood what they were getting in to! Love all your thoughts about marriage-it does take work, but it's oh so much fun!
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