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Monday, September 16, 2013

#SOL2013 Wishing you caring, sharing, loving

After a wonderful day spent with my own family in celebration of life, I caught a glimpse of an incredible Manhattan evening, Kleinfeld gown, many bridesmaids, bells and whistles kind of wedding. I was in a reflective mood so I thought long and hard before I tried to write something witty and wise on social media.
  • I thought of a newspaper article about a couple married for a long time.   http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/article/20130907/NEWS01/309070020/anibal-anniversary-71-years 
  • I thought of an image coined by a crafty blogger who has been through a lot yet chooses joy http://www.lilblueboo.com/2013/08/a-short-guide-to-a-happy-marriage-the-download.html 
  • I thought of a long, winding road of figuring out how to be us while holding onto me, learning to cheer rather than be cheered, learning to be excited when exhausted.
  • I remembered wonderful, challenging days of growing a family, with pets, or with children, though sharing nieces and nephews. 
  • I pondered the soccer games and family responsibilities amidst the demands of careers and bosses who only vaguely remembered strep throats! 
  • I remembered forgotten anniversaries, Valentines' Days, birthdays and vacation days, those times when little things became huge fights filled with, "You never," or "Why do I always."
  • I wondered if they know happiness is not depended on the actions of others and that our careers, our actions, and even our faith cannot be fully shared. 
  • I reflected on the frustration that comes from balancing many intersecting identities and times filled with controlling rather than accepting, reacting rather than forgiving.
  • I pondered the times I wanted to run away, give it up, do it on my own and the profound joy of thinking "we made it after all."
  • I wondered if they would choose to be happy, filled with joy for what they have or become despondent, filled with what might have been.   
  • I thought of parables focused on hope, prayer, forgiveness, patience, and flexibility. 
  • I prayed their faith would bring comfort and grow exponentially and that their love, but a tiny grain of sand yet, would become a wide, safe beach from the ocean waves of life.  
  • I hoped they would realize that "perfect" is not possible in weddings, homes, marriages, life.
  • On a nearby scrap I penned, May your lives be filled with more happiness than sadness, more hope than despair, more forgiveness than self-centeredness, more love than hate.     
  • It didn't seem romantic, or flowery, or eloquent even if it was parallel construction with a poetic edge. 
  • So instead, I wrote, "Wishing you a lifetime of caring, sharing and loving," just like on a Hallmark card.  It was simple with parallel construction.  I hope some day, they know what I meant.    

8 comments:

Amy Rudd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy Rudd said...

Anita,
Your reflections on the wedding day sure made me think-still am!
My favorite line is how you compare the growing love and a grain of sand-becoming as wide as a beach to protect it from the waves of life! Great imagery!
Marriage certainly is no stroll on the beach-I hope they get what you meant someday too!

BK said...

"Wishing you a lifetime of caring, sharing and loving,
It takes time to appreciate the experience before you can get to the essence of life.

I so agree. I also seem to take weddings more seriously lately.

Bonnie

Anita Ferreri said...

Gee, I never thought of that line: Marriage is no stroll on the beach!
So true...but like anything that is worthwhile, it takes hard work, planning, compromise....

Tara @ A Teaching Life said...

I thought of a long, winding road of figuring out how to be us while holding onto me, learning to cheer rather than be cheered, learning to be excited when exhausted.

So, so true!

Jane Martyn said...

I needed this today! Such simple words but so important to remember at all times. After a crazy busy day of bustling around (trying to start own law practice, trying to finish up 1st novel, feeling totally overwhelmed), this was a wonderful reminder to come home to. Gotta go- thanks for commenting on my blog about my dog, Maggs. She is demanding a walk now though!:)

Stacey said...

I'm amazed at how much thinking you did from seeing that over-the-top wedding party and the bride in the Kleinfeld's gown!

LInda Baie said...

You were so taken by that image, Anita, with maybe a little too much glitter & you began to wonder if they really understood what they were getting in to! Love all your thoughts about marriage-it does take work, but it's oh so much fun!