I don't think I consciously look for signs during stressful times, but I do seem to find them!
For example, one night, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog,,,," came over the radio as I left a stressful visit with my mother. Many years ago, that was my father's theme song and it served, that night, as a clear reminder that everything would be OK.
On Sunday, as I vacuumed the house where I spent my adult Christmas Eves, the one where my sister-in-law offered me insight into the world of Italian food, cheerful children, boundless love, and sage advice, I was feeling sad that life has to go on without those we love. Yet, I vacuumed intently because I wanted to leave the place the way she would have wanted. The memories, the voices, the songs, the laughter were so strong, that I felt transported to another moment in time. I smiled knowing she would have said, "That's good enough." And there, tucked way into the corner, was a sign. Her mass card had almost become one with the floor molding and was worn so that you could barely see it. Yet, I suspect I was meant to find it and it spoke clearly a message I needed to hear.
Living a full life means loving things that are constantly changing. Those little kids who used to gather around the tree in their pajamas become big kids and eventually, the parents. The adults who used to eat too much become the elders and pass the dishes and their torches to the younger ones. That's just the way it is. Sometimes, the changes are wonderful additions to the circle of life and other times we don't like the course of events. But, things have to change, that's just the way it is for living things. It's hard, sometimes, and it takes a whole lot of faith, but everything will be OK.
PS And as I suspected before I even looked. There was a red sky at sunset that night, too!
7 comments:
There's so much I love about this post. I, too, believe in signs. Songs on the radio (or shuffle mode on my iPod) inspire me. If I hear a song that reminds me of my dad, I feel like he's sending me a thumbs up from heaven. :) I love the mass card was on the floor. TOTALLY a sign!!!
My favorite line, "Living a full life means loving things that are constantly changing." It's so true and so hard! I'm learning that right now. Change is good! Change is good! It's also scary, which is where faith comes in!
Thank you for sharing. Loved this. This post will stay with me today. I'll be mulling it over in my head. :)
My problem is not seeing the signs, it is interpreting them! As I face my own fork in the road and struggle with which way to turn, I try and just breathe and be, knowing that clarity will come when it comes. (I'm not the most patient sort.)
I love that you're (probably momentarily) frustrated with the changes and losses in life that are inevitable, but that you certainly realize that loving those people you clearly STILL love is worth the heartache you feel when they leave.
Love is worth all of that, for sure.
Your post gave me chills, Anita - yes, so much changes in life, day to day and year to year. I suppose it's at times like the holidays that we become even more conscious of this. But, we love those we love and have loved, and they travel with us always - and let us know they are still with us, as your sister in law did with her mass card.
Like Tara, I had the chills as I read this. You talked about the torch being passed. I feel like that's started to happen in our family on Thanksgiving. I host (though I still get help from my parents and in-laws with the cooking). That said, thinking about the circle of life and how things change in a matter of a few years... wow. Like I said, your writing gave me the chills AND gave me pause.
I love slices filled with reflections. I can so use your deep thinking to motivate mine on this very snowy December afternoon. I'm feeling the past everywhere... and as I receive images from everywhere in my online communities I feel the moments of 2013 that meant so much to them. Do you have an image to share with me for my digital project?
Bonnie
I love how you showed your journey through the signs, Anita, not always indicators of good things, but somehow comforting in the interpretation. I know it's been a challenging and sad year for you and like also that you are taking on the changes as life itself rolls along, and are willing to live the changes as they come. I hope you have a good and peaceful holiday filled with good times with family.
So many times we ignore the signs that are given to us each day. We truly need to stop and listen. Your post brought back so many memories of how things have changed over my life and just how many signs I've missed. Thanks for sharing.
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