"I know, but we are not in control of everything" I responded philosophically.
"Don't give me that #$%)(&%&() line," she responded, this time assertively and with authority the defied the rose covered house dress that hung loosely on her frail frame. "If I were in control, things would be very different!"
This time, I rubbed her shoulder and said nothing because frankly, there really was nothing I could say! I too wish I were "in control" of so many things that I cannot control......at home (dust balls, weeds, laundry, time, patience...), in my family (home, hearts, health, her, suffering, interactions...), in my school (reading, writing, word study, priorities...), in my profession (negativity, respect, professionalism, life-long learning ....), and in our world (acceptance, peaceful coexistence....) The list of what I would do if I were in control is longer than the Mississippi and wider than the Atlantic!
"We are not in control of everything" I reminded myself as I kissed her sleeping forehead, walked past her waiting walker, and left for a quick walk around the track where for 15 minutes I had some control of my heart rate as well as my emotions. There, as I went around the bends, my mind and my heart merged, for a moment, in memories of what was and reminders of what will be. I found a line from the Serenity prayer, circling the track with me....
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.