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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Endurance

I often think of my father's "word-of-advice" as I listen to those 
1) seeking a relationship;
2) enjoying the passion of new love;
3) or in the throes of difficult times in relationships.  
 
He had just been admitted for heart failure, when a doctor, finding that my father had been married nearly 60 years, asked him sincerely, "How did you do that?"  My father, known for succinct verbal retorts replied, "Endurance. You have to stick with it."  
 
It's a word I am thinking of today, as I acknowledge my own "milestone" anniversary. I was young, really young, and naive and my life was full of promise and excitement when on a cold January morning, I promised to "love, honor, and cherish for better or for worse."  I really had no idea at all what I was "signing on for" when I eagerly grinned as I said, "I do."  
 
We've eaten, together, on a wobbly flea market table and on a solid mahogany one on a breathtakingly beautiful porch.  We've slept, together, on cold basement floors and in a bedroom with a cathedral ceiling.  We've each agreed to do many things we did not really want to do, in order to be together.  We've put personal goals aside, at times, for each other.  Together, we've worked through the challenge of balancing two careers, two kids, and numerous personal and professional "crises." 
 
One "memorable" anniversary we "celebrated" with CYO hot dogs and there were several when we didn't even have dinner together!  It's been an amazing, interesting, balancing act and at times, a bumpy ride, through my own many years of marriage.  There were days, weeks, months of pure joy and great passion and yet there have also been days, weeks, and months when we endured through very difficult times.  My father's words of advice ring clearly this morning as I reflect on the unimaginable love experience and joy in sharing this journey through the years.  While I could never have imagined the depth of love I know today back when I made that promise in St. Patrick's Church, it is with sincere appreciation, gratitude for God's grace, and great happiness that I reflect, "Looks like we made it."       

 en·dur·ance   

Noun
  1. The fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way.
  2. The capacity of something to last or to withstand wear and tear.
 
Synonyms
                                    stamina - durability - patience - staying power

11 comments:

Tracey Ferreri said...

Congrats on many years of "enduring" love ya!!

Amy Rudd said...

Hope you enjoy this milestone together! Congratulations!

shogem said...

Congratulations. A beautiful reflection on holding on to someone you love and riding the roller coaster of life.

elsie said...

Congratulations on this event! You are so right that it does take endurance and lots of compromise as you blend two lives into one family. Here's to many years to go!

Nanc said...

This one makes me cry. Happy that I had that example of endurance in my life also. Thank goodness...as, I am convinced that every marriage has those bumps and bruises. Thank you for sharing this. I will forward it to my husband and I know what will happen as he reads- a smile, a nod and then a joking comment. XO nanc

Storykeeper said...

Congratulations. I loved how you shared your Dad's words. That is a powerful example of how to love deeply.

Stacey said...

Your dad's word, "endurance," shows the mark of a wise man. You rarely hear that as a response to what makes a marriage last (Too often you hear the snarky things!). His word is a treasure.

Happy anniversary to you and your hubby!

coffeefueledmusings said...

What a wonderful and thought provoking post!

Judy said...

Congratulations on your anniversary! Marriage is all about the ups and downs and give and takes. I love your Dad's word - endurance. It truly takes endurance to make a marriage work. Here's to many more years of an enduring life with your hubby.

BK said...

That's a wonderful reason for a casual, deeply felt celebration.
Bonnie

maria.selke said...

Beautiful! Endurance is often looked on as just "putting up with it" - but it is truly a work of love and commitment. I'm about to hit 20 years myself :)