Tuesday, July 10, 2012

From My Writing This Summer: A Chapter

I've had this story kernel going for a while.
My main character is a little girl who loves books
but not exercise.  She has some of my characteristics but is her own person!
        You already know I am really good at reading. spelling and math but not so good at athletic stuff like bike riding.  Nobody ever really seemed to care about bike riding, except my cousin Max, who's the same age as me but very different, and he could ride a two-wheeler when he was three.  (He can also play basketball with high school kids and sometimes wins, so he is super athletic.)  This spring, everything changed a lot with exercise and especially with bike riding.  As you know, my mom has been on an exercise kick.  She gets up and walks with her music every morning even when it rains and sometimes, she says, she runs a little bit.  She says it's not only good for her head, she is also setting a good example for me and my sister.  My mom talks a lot about going to the park, kids playing soccer (remember, I hate soccer), and wants us to get outside and run around every night!  She is getting a little bit too crazy about all this exercise stuff if you ask me! 
      Anyway, for her birthday, Mom asked for a bike and my dad got her a bright red bike with a bike-behind for my sister because she is only 4.  My dad also got ME a bright irange bike with training wheels, and it wasn't even my birthday. I wish I didn't but I hate that bike.  I am afraid every time I sit on it.  It shakes from side to side.  I think I am going to fall off and break my neck!  Some days, my mom lets me sit on the front steps in the afternoon when she takes my sister for a ride, but LOTS of days, she makes me go with her for at least one "lap" around the block.  I really hate it.  I really am afraid.  My bike wobbles from side to side and it makes my teeth hurt. I really hate it.  
      Saturday mornings are usually the worst because there is no way out of the bike riding exposition.  She's so excited it's sickening and Victoria acts like she is going on vacation and maybe she is.  She just sits in that tiger cage of hers and relaxes.  "Just cool your jets,"  I want to say to them, but instead I just drag my feet and waste time getting ready to go.  The only one who escapes these bike riding Saturday mornings is my dad.  He takes a nap while we are gone because he doesn't have a bike.  Personally, I don't think he wants a bike and maybe, he doesn't even like bikes because he is a lot like me! 
     Anyway, this morning, it was a rainy Saturday which made me very happy.  I stayed in my pajamas and read all the picture books in my room  Victoria kept wanting me to read to her and sometimes I did.  I was just happy to have a fun day doing what I love with nobody bugging me.  My Auntie (Max's mom) called and she and my mom talked a long time.  I think they talked about bikes the whole time! Boring. When my mom got off the phone, she was so excited.  "Tomorrow," Mom said, "we are going to go on a very special bike ride." I didn't ask any questions.  I don't want to know the answer! 


pamelahodges said...

I love the idea of the story told from the perspective of a child. How old is your main character?
Her voice sounds like she is older, perhaps an adult. There are some big words in there as well. "bike riding exposition." that may be beyond the vocabulary of a child.

In the first sentence, you tell the reader I already know something, but I don't.
I would love to read more. Thank you for sharing your writing. A brave thing to do.

Anita Ferreri said...

THANK you for your feedback. You are so right about the word exposition. It has just been erased from the next draft. I have written lots and lots of easy reader stories about kids but this is one of two stories I am writing simultaneously this summer. This little girls is 6 going on 7 and entering second grade right now. I was scared to share this - but I want feedback so I threw it out here to see what happened. I have become braver and braver (like my main character does) through the Teachers Write group and through Slice of Life sharing. I really appreciate your feedback. LOTS