Our children (at home and in school) don't always hear what we say....but they are always watching and learning from the what we, the adults who care about them, do. Some parents and teachers model an "exercise" and "fitness" filled life by exercising at the gym and running a marathon every few months. Some parents and teachers model healthy eating by making whole grain bread from scratch and shopping at the organic food-mart. Some parents and teachers model how to relax and vacation when they go on cruises or off the their beach homes.
I'm beginning to realize that "my" kids have a slightly different model!
From the time they were big enough to hold a pencil, I told my "personal" kids to write their thoughts and ideas downs on paper! Admittedly, as a working mom, there were times I told them to write things down just because I could not stand a moment more of bickering or any more discussion....and there were times when I used that as a way to stall them and force them to clarify their thinking about whatever they wanted at that moment. Over the years, they have done just that.
For example, when my son desperately wanted his license - a few months ahead of our planned schedule - he wrote a passionate plea about his worth and good decision making - drafted overnight on the ol' family computer, that turned his "iron-clad" father into mush at the breakfast table!
Since that first NWP workshop I attended LONG ago, I have used a similar model at school encouraging kids to write for real purposes AND writing them notes - making my thinking visible to them. Admittedly, as a busy teacher, there were times I told them to write things down just because I could not stand a moment more of bickering or any more discussion....(just like at home)....and there were times when I used that as a way to stall them and force them to clarify their thinking about whatever they wanted at that moment (just like at home)! Yesterday, one of my former students wrote ME a note (ON A STICKY NOTE!) about her younger brother's improving reading prowess:
He's getting very good at reading.
But, not as good as me yet.
Yesterday I realized I am writing as a way to organize and clarify my thinking. It helps - it really does!
8 comments:
The need to sort our thoughts and clarify misconceptions and mysteries is central to our functioning as writers. Your post recounts this critical understanding. As we learn about writing, we simultaneously learn about ourselves.
Whenever I am really angry...which thankfully is not too often...I write. I find venting through the power of the pen or keyboard helps me release the anger. Rereading what I have written helps me see myself from a different perspective. It is like being on the outside and looking in. Your news flash may not be new information...but we all need to be reminded now and again. Thank you.
So much to agree with in this post! Each day at school, I write down "what we did today," to post outside my preschool classroom door...a colleague and I recently noted how much reflection this instigates! Truly, writing clarifies thinking. I think I'm going to try my hand at writing a few notes to my preschoolers! Thanks for sharing this.
Why haven't I done that? I love that you have your kids write it down when your ears need a break from the sibling bickering! I'll be trying that one out...probably sometime tonight! :)
You are so right about writing things that help clarify thinking, but I felt that when my students wrote them, it also helped them remember more easily & it captured the moment. There was a special place in their notebooks for this, write it down, ponder it, then ask me to see it if needed. Thanks for bringing this up-interesting to try to apply it in different situations.
The power of writing - I love that you had your kids write out their bickering.Now. Why hadn't I thought of that years ago!
Your post comes at such a perfect time Anita. I plan on sharing your thinking with a teacher I am working with. Excellent. :)
It's interesting how you have used writing with your own children and students. Writing helps helps to clarify thinking sometimes better than talking, because no one inserts their thoughts or opinions. Sometimes talking takes the first place, especially if the other person truly listens and asks probing questions. In either way (talking or writing) I have to slow down to create order in my head.
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