SOL26: June 30: What Were They Thinking?

I am sharing as part of the TWT Slice of Life community today.  

It's summer and it's NJ warm, not Arizona hot. I thought I had dressed appropriately for the doctor appointment in a skort and white tee. I wore my sandals because shoes would be extra weight on the scale. The waiting room was packed with the humans who either had the same Monday morning time slot, were shipped in from the Jersey Shore, or were serious about trying to fool the scale! They wore bikini tops and shorts that just grazed the parts you should keep covered. I tried not to stare. I tried to be jealous of their weight loss strategies. I tried to rationalize they were going to have to get undressed anyway!  I really do not know what they were thinking? 

As I went through a old photos (my June project), I found photo evidence of Queenie, my Grandfather's pet fox from the era when my Mother was a young girl!  I had heard reference to the "pet" and now I have photo-evidence of such a critter. I did check with AI, and it would appear it is now illegal to own one in most states. They are wild animals with high energy and will (according to Google) mark their territory and attack for protection if you know what I mean. Yet, here are photos of my mother (the little one) and her sister, and my grandfather, Gerow, with Queenie!  Seriously, what were they thinking?

I thought about all the other what were they thinking moments just today, like what were they thinking with that Reflecting Pool mess and what were they thinking when they rented MSG for a wedding decoy (wedding)? Then, I thought about how my Grandmother and my Mother would have been appalled that I wore a skort and plastic sandals (even if they were Oofoss) to a doctor appointment! Perhaps, many of us could use a reminder to think about the impact of our decisions. 

June 29: Questions

This month, I have been plowing through family photographs and memorabilia. I am left with questions about people who are no longer earth-side. 

Like this clearly formal wedding portrait from my Aunt Helen's wedding in about 1947. The men, including my dad, are wearing topcoats! Did she somehow "hit the lottery" because the farm had recently been sold even though others had no money for college? Did she have a much better secretarial job than I thought? Did Uncle David, the groom, fund the fancy wedding? 

Like this signed 9 X 12 picture from the 1984 Mondale-Ferraro presidential ticket! I did remember The Aunts were big time Kennedy supporters with memorial ash trays and other trinkets around the apartment. I realized the Irish-Catholic-young-good-looking-Camelot pull there. However, I missed the financial and clear support of this political ticket with a female in the VP seat! Clearly and happily ahead of their times! Was it the common Orange County country roots or the shared Brooklyn-Queens life? I am proud of my Aunt Lora for pushing respect for women in all the Houses of Washington even 40 years ago!                                                                                                                      

Now, so many more questions

Now, I can only wonder and imagine,

Now, there are no answers.

June 28: Hikes, Bikes, and Swims, too

My memory was that my own children spent a good chunk of their free time care-giving for grandparents and helping with chores around the house in the days before they explored working on their own. As I have been going through the photo memories that I have, I have decided they really had pretty good, if not wild and crazy or extravagant childhoods!  

Evidence to support my claim begins with planned or even unplanned hikes often spurred by Uncle Vince with cousins where paths were explored and laughter filled the woods. More than once, to be honest, we were unsure of our way out of the maze of black diamond and triangle labeled trails, if not totally lost! This image (Uncle Vince, Tony, me, Aunt Barbara, Della) was likely taken from a person who was far ahead of the rest on the hike with a camera! 

Sometimes, we hiked on magical trails where the wonders of nature were abundant and the majesty of the earth was everywhere. More than once we swam in Bash Bish Falls even if you were not supposed to do so!  More than once, I held my breath as we hiked or even mountain biked on steep and windy trails where the views were almost worth the work and worry.

My photos would suggest there were lots more afternoons spent with nature than at amusement parks and in restaurants!  I wish we had taken you on trips to explore at bit of the world while we could have done so. I also wish I had known then, how fleeting and wonderful those days would be in the chapters of our story. Yet, there was more time spent together doing-outdoors-activities than my now fleeting and tear-stained memories might suggest. There were smiles and there was laughter in our family as well as love. 

If I am honest, it may have been those early hikes and camping trips with Vince, Barbara and their growing family, before we had children, which shaped our parenting in a quiet manner. In those days, before my job was Mom, I might even have, one time, had a trunk full of Twinkies and been remembered, forever, as The Goody Queen.  (Sometimes, the memories are so powerful you really do not need pictures)

Keep them busy and outdoors may have been the plan, even if we never articulated it! Perhaps, I may even be remembered as an OK parent! 

Hikes, bikes, swims, laughs, smiles,

There really were more than I remembered!

Seeds planted at Cranberry Lake

June 27: Cousins

One of the emerging themes from this month long picture dive is the role of cousins in shaping our lives.. We put enormous energy into our jobs and maintaining our lives; yet, we are all replaceable at work, but not to our families. I could fill this page with endless pictures that represent poignant moments between family members, especially cousins!

Like the image of my cousin and I in the bamboo art exhibit finding a moment of happiness after my Dad's passing upended our long planned trip.  Or the image of my cousin and I at his son's wedding where our "Irish roots" were clearly smiling!

Or  image of these cousins sharing a tender moment with their cousin, a flower girl, at another cousins's wedding even if one of them was heading across the pond in mere hours for a semester abroad! 

Or celebrating another cousin's wedding crowding into the photo booth because they were having a rare and special moment together! Or, just sharing a moment and pleasing a parent after sharing the excitement on some, probably football or soccer or lacrosse field!  Over time, the complex demands of merging careers and families and distance usually grows, but so does the love.

Grateful

For cousins

Who share our

Stories, roots, in a

Way no other can do! 

Inspiring, encouraging, all that might be, 

Even when we are far apart for

Long stretches of space and time, held together

Deep roots, strong branches, sinewy genetics, lifelong awareness, familial love.

June 25: Celebrate

The last week in June is a big one for celebrations like last night's send off for high school graduates filled with all the mixed emotions of joy, pride, and realization of the potential of a new chapter that began as they flipped their tassels. Those celebrating will not remember the words of any of the speeches, but they will remember how they felt nervous and happy and unsure and excited by the future as they celebrated. I focused, as best as I could, on that joyous celebration while acknowledging the potential for our world standing on those risers! 

My mind did wander, at one point to a similar late June evening, just three years ago when the graduate's sister stood on those same risers and to that time years ago when my daughter graduated from high school in a similar ceremony where friends also gathered to celebrate their stories that were really just beginning. I also remembered watching the graduate's mother celebrate her high school graduation and remembered the illicit while sandals I wore to my own, long ago, while acknowledging the Lion King, Circle of Life moment! 

Celebrate 

The chapters

Along the journey.

June 24: I Barely Knew Them

I'm plowing through old photographs this month and realize there are some relatives I barely knew.

Like my Dad's oldest sibling, Uncle Phil (Philip) who had already left the farm for Northwestern University before my father was born. He worked as an engineer for  NYC Transit and lived in a small brick house with his wife, Aunt Nettie. They had no children, but shared their narrow home in Brooklyn with a disabled niece. I think we visited twice and remember the smell of his cigar filled the house and made me feel sick. They shared boxes of chocolate candies wrapped in foil. When I was in high school, he spent several months before he died in a NYC hospital ward. My mother asked me to write a note to put in a card to send each day. After he passed, someone found a note gifting me with his black, side-mirror-less, rear-mirror-less, and radio-less 1954 Ford sedan. I had just gotten my license and part of me felt like the luckiest person in the world as I decorated it with big flower stickers as if I was a real hippy. Even then, I knew I really did nothing to deserve that gift. 

Like my Dad's second oldest sibling, Uncle George who had also left for the Army (I think) before that last child arrived. He married Aunt Madelyn and settled in his hometown working in the infamous NY State prison of Sing Sing. I remember going to their very modern (to me) ranch home one time, but I was young and have no idea why we were there! They had one child, my cousin Sheila, and spent their retirement playing golf and raising her children in Florida. Through stories, I know my uncle thrived for many years after much of his intestine was removed and outlived two pacemakers! After my son was born, I found my son's given name was Uncle George's middle name. Coincidentally, they were gifts from God.                                                                        Uncle George, Sheila Jimmy and baby

SOL26: June 23: Semi-quincentennial

 

I'm sharing with the Slice of Life Community today. Lately, news of the Reflecting Pool has me remembering the 200th Birthday celebration,

In the days after dinosaurs roamed and before cell phones, I lived just over the Potomac when our nation was celebrating its 200th birthday. (I realize writing this confirms any doubt that I am aged to perfection!) 

We left our car parked along a side street somewhere in Virginia and walked, I think, over the bridge to visit hoards of food, craft, and trinket vendors who were hawking their wares along the Reflecting Pool. I must admit I never noticed if it was clean or dirty, but I remember the reflection of the Washington Monument was perfectly centered in the enormous pond. 

As the sun prepared to set that day, there was music.  Perhaps it was a band, but maybe it was piped over loudspeakers. The nation was, at that moment, in a peaceful state of affairs after the decade of Vietnam and the Watergate Scandal. While the economy was struggling and there were few jobs to be had, I think we were optimistic. (Perhaps that was young love?) We watched the fireworks at Lincoln's feet filled and walked home. 

I wish I wanted to go back and visit for the semi-quincentennial. 

June 23: Changing Directions

 When I started this month-long-journey through a box of photos from family, I thought I would quickly scan and toss. I started remembering people and places, while reaching sad dead-ends when I could not identify so many leaves from my family tree. I am now sure that even in this AI infused information age, if we do not write down our stories, they will be lost! 

These are my Mother's people and her words are as important as the images. I did have to use Google to determine that Guilford 1916 (upper image) was likely the seaside town of Guilford, Conn. It is the Quick family and the tall young man in the back would become my Grandfather. I'm left to wonder what this struggling family was doing all dressed up so far from their rural NYS farm? A wedding? A funeral? A vacation seems unlikely?

Thankfully, the lower photo is labeled Grandma (Great-Grandma to me), Grandpa (Great to me), Aunt Evie, Uncle Sam, and Uncle Percy. I never knew any of them, but I do know that Percy was an early lineman for the local electric company, Central Hudson. When my daughter was doing a summer internship there, she learned from a wall honoring him that he had invented safety protector used long ago at the top of electric poles!

On the back of the page in perfect script, my mother wrote, "1912, Margaretsville," which would indicate my maternal Grandmother's hometown. Here's where it gets squirrely. My mother writes, "(her) Grandma, Grandma Patten and Dominic?" I think this might be my grandmother's half brother but all this is sending me down the genealogy rabbit hole, where all this is headed. There is no way this project is going to be done in a month! Sigh. 

J

June 22: Call of the Sea

This month, I am capturing old photos that are important in sustaining the memories of people who have shaped the complex image of family in a way that combines both images and stories.

It was a wonderful long weekend in Vero Beach, where they had already established a retirement community and an enviable circle of support. It had been bitter cold back in NY, but shorts and tee-shirts were THE garb there! Over dinner, there were tales of relentless golf matches and planning for an upcoming Valentine's Day Party. They celebrated every event because they all matter. 

The smell of the sea and signs for seafood were everywhere and yet it was the familiar pull of family that filled the weekend with joy. I had seen pictures and I had heard tales of their place at the sea, but I had no idea they spent the entire weekend on the edge of the sea where the rhythm and healing power of the waves were steps away. I ventured into the sea even if it was February as they watched!  

It was my only trip to their Place at the Sea as Barbara would be taken by a horrid strain of the flu not long after. Yet, Vincent has continued to hear the Call of the Sea and find retirement love and warmth in the warm breezes and salty air. While I never made it back, I still can hear the Call of the Sea and I've carried the reminder that every birthday and significant matters and deserves its moment to shine.

June 22: Saving Memories

Today's Ethical ELA Host, Leilya, has the most wonderful bionic line as it says she "lives in Ponchatoula, LA, a small town celebrated for its strawberries." Today's prompt asks us to write a poem about a souvenir, whether it is real or imagined. It may be something you bought, something you remember, something emotional or invisible, or something unexpectedly small but meaningful.

Pink sands of Jobson's Cove, 

Gale force winds of the Cliffs of Mohr, 

Innumerable Limone di Siracusa, 

Drenching and deafening Gullfoss,

Endless switchbacks of Bright Angel Trail,

Beside memories of the Ionian Sea,

Powerful reminders.

Yes, that one picture could use to be straightened!