The lady who had nabbed that up close spot was already in my gym room, although she was not as far in the preparing for class process as she should have been! She was slowly taking off her coat and there was a crowd gathering around her offering greetings and clear messages of "I have missed you."
"I'm doing better, she assured her friends, and I am going to try to do at least part of this class." she smiled. As I glanced over, I noticed her thin shirt hung on her bony shoulders. Then, I saw her slowly raising her arms and adjusting her hair and I just knew she really needed that spot. My guilt level went through the roof.
Clearly, she had already faced a powerful enemy.
Clearly, she needed and deserved that spot.
Clearly, not all disabilities are visible.
Clearly, not all disabilities are visible.
8 comments:
I have been that person, too. I have judged based on type of car and first appearances. When I broke my ankle a year ago fall break (I gave a whole new meaning to fall and break and fall break that year), I got a handicapped temporary permit, and it took me through the process of appreciating the handicapped parking spaces and being so grateful that stores do this. And I was an eater of my own crow about the looks. Once the boot came off and I was beginning to heal but still walking slowly, I realized I didn't "look the part" of someone who needed that space, yet I couldn't have walked from the back of the lot without a lot more effort. I got a dose of my own medicine and healed that wound of premature judgment quickly. You are not alone, friend.
Fran,
Your frustration is warranted—at times. It’s true people abuse handicapped parking. It’s true not all handicaps are visible. I’ve made assumptions, too, when I see people I think shouldn’t park in the handicapped spots grab them. It’s okay to make a mistake.
Anita, I’m sorry. I called you Fran. Fran is getting a name workout. Someone called me Fran in March. Apologies. 😬
No worries. I go by many names and most important, I appreciate your comments.
When we are tired, frustrated, fighting weather to get a good parking spot it is easy to get frustrated at those up-close spots that are reserved. When we see someone take a spot and then get out of the car with no visible sign of having needed that spot anger grows. Then we see or learn of that person's fight, and we feel ashamed. Many of us, myself included, have been there. Thanks for the reminder that we shouldn't be quick to jump to conclusions.
I had to get a temporary handicapped placard after I injured my foot in 2019 since I needed a cane to walk. I felt guilty about it at the time, but realized that it was a necessity. I remember a few looks I got while in my car when I pulled into it since I had a three-year-old in tow. (I didn't use my cane to get my son out of the car, but I had one hand in his and one on the cane to go anywhere.) I'm sure people thought I was a mom who wanted to park nearby.
Apparent vs. non-apparent disabilities trip many people up, so go easy on yourself. You won't forget what happened today, so you'll pause before rushing to judgment when someone pulls into that spot.
You are so right. I felt so bad I debated sharing!!!
Anita, I love that you shared your thinking about the parking place before, during, and after your knowledge of her invisible disability. I like the way you described parking in the outer lot and how you were a "drippy mess." I can relate to that feeling at one time or another. It isn't a good feeling.
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