No choice but to pause

At Christmas

We have no choice but to pause

As shopping halts,

Traffic dissipates,

The focus on gifting fades.

No choice but to pause

As we think of

Those we love.
Our children,
Their children,
Our nieces, nephews, cousins,
Our friends.

No choice but to pause

As we think of

Tables, pews, couches,
Where we once sat,
Places where we gathered
To celebrate family and friendship.

No choice but to pause

As thoughts of those 

No longer in our lives

Fill our hearts
Like my mother
Who would have been 88 today,
My brother, who would have
Gobbled too many gingerbread.

In just a few hours,
The hustle and bustle of returns, bargains.
Works, business, travel, adventure,
Living,
Will overtake the pause
Of Christmas
Yet thought of people,
Rather than gifts
Will linger as today's pause
Gives way to tomorrow.

The Days Are Getting Longer

I remember feeling rushed for time on this darkest day of the year, the first day of winter. I remember crating lists for the grocery store and for gifts while attending faculty or team meetings. I remember waking up in a cold sweat not sure if I could get "it" all done before the big day. I remember still needing a tree and still unsure of gifts. I remember feeling pressured to make the holiday "great" for others. I remember feeling rushed and wishing I could add a day to the calendar.  I remember feeling sad as the holidays descended on this darkest day of the year.

This morning, on the darkest day of the year, the first day of winter, I was stuck in traffic for nearly an hour due to a car hitting a utility pole on a major thoroughfare. Later, I watched a pricey Ferrari scoot around traffic in order to get ahead of the crowd. This afternoon, the darkest day of the year, the first day of winter. I watched an SUV skirt under the descending gates of an oncoming train.  He/she made it with seconds to spare.  I could feel the tension and stress in each of these drivers and am grateful that while stressed, I do not ever remember traveling so fast or taking such risks on tdays are his darkest day of the year. 

As the Grinch states so well, Christmas will come without ribbons or tags,  It will come without packages, boxes or bags. 

As the Farmers Almanac confirms, tomorrow is going to be longer and brighter! 

As Annie sang and as those of us who have lost or been desolate know, the sun will come out tomorrow.

As the calendar promises, there are still 4 days for whatever needs to get done.

As store managers promise, stores will open early tomorrow and in most places, on Sunday, and on Monday.

As those of us who have been around the block a few times know, the days are now getting longer and there will be time to get done what must be done....and the rest of it really doesn't matter...

As those of us who have been around the block a few times know, Christmas will come will come without boxes or tags.  Christmas never comes from a store. Christmas may be a date on the calendar; the real meaning of Christmas is a celebration of hope and new beginnings.  

As Clarence says in It's a Wonderful Life, "Each man's life touches so many other lives.  When he isn't around, he leaves an awful hole."

Hang in there.  Don't drive crazy.  Don't rush safety. The days are getting longer, for sure.

\

Good-bye Students

I've had hundreds of antsy young readers who finally cracked the code as the year came to a close. I've had  scores of reluctant writers who finally transformed an idea into a text as the year wrapped up. I'm always sad to see the year of learning and growing come to an end.

I've had many eager grad students and a few reluctant ones as well over the years, Sometimes, I'm lucky enough to have students more than once in their journeys to be effective teachers with strong research-based foundations and abundant teaching strategies. I'm always sad to see the semester of learning and growing come to an end.

I've gotten mugs, soaps, and a few poignant thank you notes over the years. It's those notes and the reflections that I treasure as they remind me that while our paths diverge at the end of the semester, our shared journey has made a difference.  

I got one of those notes today.

"Thank you for always believing in me and empowering me to become a better teacher..... It is very emotional for me to say goodbye"

That, sums it up for me as well. As another semester comes to a close, I know I've done my job, but it is very hard to say good-bye!  

#sol18 Thinking and Thankful

Thanksgiving, 

Has given way to 

Black Friday, 

Small Business Saturday,

Cyber Monday,
Grateful Tuesday

Frenzied Hanuka prep, 

Abundant Christmas lights,

Jam-packed shopping malls,

Gigantic decorated trees, wreaths

.

Leaving grateful hearts,
Thinking about many blessings,

Slightly strained belts,
Thinking about abundant tables,

Grateful grandparents,
Thinking about grandchildren,

Hopeful parents,
Thinking about children,
And yet-to-be-born children,
Somewhat stressed students,
Thinking about end of semester papers,

All thankful for today,
All optimistic about the future,
All looking ahead.

On the afterglow of Thanksgiving,
On the eve of December
On the edge of the semester,
Facing a busy month,
Facing many challenges,
Facing piles of papers,
I'm thoughtful, thinking, and thankful.
Pretty sure Thanksgiving
Is more than a day.

#sol18 Slice of Life: Choices

The reminders 

Litter lawns, crowd corners,

Fill mailboxes,

Overwhelm ad space,

Red signs, blue ones,

Negative ads, 

Better be wary ads,

Reminders of political affiliation

Rather than who they are,

Rather than what they want to do.

Asking us to vote against.

I struggled to find

How candidates stand on issues.

Amidst the plethora 

Of warnings and ultimatums,

Amidst the exaggerations,

Amidst twisting of the truth,

Amidst red seas and blue waves,

Yet, I finally made informed choices,

Based on issues
Not just on color of the sign.

Image from the New Yorker, Brendan Loper

Cold and Dark With a Touch of Stars and Rainbows

Overnight, the leaves changed color, the days grew shorter, and jackets needed to be found. These clear reminders of the colder, darker, and often bleaker season upon us made me a bit melancholy. So this Twitter message was probably meant for people like me who want to see their "cup" as half full! 
Message received! 

On the Eve of Halloween

I had a "sunrise" seat on the early morning train and watched what seemed to be a scene from a Halloween movie unfold over the Hudson. Usually, I just follow the crowd up and down the stairs and through the turnstiles, like lemmings to the trains, but perhaps inspired by that orange glow burning in the morning sky, I noticed the people in my cohort.  

There was the girl with bright orange hair, an over-sized jacket and what appeared to be Doc Martens boots?  Are they back in style, I wondered or were they from her mom's attic?  

There was the man with tousled hair, who looked like he had just rolled out of bed and onto the train, sitting next to a man with monogrammed cuff links peeking from behind a suit that appeared tailored just for him. 

There were a flock of boys in uniforms, one a foot taller than others, heading to school.  

There were people napping, nodding, watching their phones, listening to iPods, reading the Wall Street Journal, pursuing social media, and playing Candy Crush, but there was no one talking.

As we went underground, I realized there was an endless sea of diverse, different but seemingly peacful zombie like creatures heading into the bright orange sunrise, on the eve of Halloween. 

Was I the only one noticing and feeling a bit uneasy?  

#Rainy Tuesdays

It rained EVERY Tuesday in September resulting in wet (ruined) sandals, wet (ruined) shoes, wet (ruined) umbrellas, wet (ruined) laptops and phones and messy (puddle-filled) commutes via buses, trains and cars! SO as September came to a close, I invested in rain-gear for my feet and a new umbrella.  I was confident that I'd get prepared and then the rains would stop.  After all, there was NO snow at all during that winter after I got a snow blower!

The sun was out when I headed into the city on the first Tuesday in October and it had all the appearances of a lovely early-fall day. I didn't need to worry about those clunky water shoes so I donned my new slip-ons and left the rain jacket at home!  Interestingly, my grad students also noted the Tuesday without rain situation, happily!

However, a few hours after immersing ourselves in miscue analysis and collaborative models there were 4 severe storm warnings and 2 tornado watch warnings on my phone. The sky was ablaze as I left the city and at one moment I wondered if it was THE storm or fireworks somewhere? The rain started slowly but increased in intensity, volume, and duration.  I knew that it was rain and yet it felt as if I was being pelted with rocks!  I knew it was thunder and yet if sounded as if the skies would open an swallow me hole.  I knew that the rain would eventually stop and yet, I wondered if I would have to wait till morning to finally be home!  There was hydroplaning and sloshing and flooding in spots.

Yes, there have been years of bone dry earth and water rationing as we endured droughts.  Yes, there are still areas of our country and the world that would welcome a deluge, Yes, I know now that buying rain shoes and an umbrella was not enough of a deterrent for Mother Nature,  So, next Tuesday, I will wear my rain shoes, carry an umbrella, hope the rains go elsewhere, but be prepared for rain.  Can you hear me Mother Nature?

#celebratelu Celebrating Sun

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day!

I had to go looking for my sun glasses when the sun came out today after many cloudy days and lots of heavy rain. The yard sale signs popped up like harbingers of fall and the walkers, joggers, and bike riders emerged from hiding to embrace the sunshine. The homecoming floats gratefully paraded down Main Street and the cheerleaders danced in gratitude for the opportunity to celebrate under clear skies. There was still a chill in the late September air that seemed to remind us all the enjoy this gift and reminder that light follows darkness just as sunshine follows rain.  

The analogy to life was evident as I sat in the sunshine waiting for the parade to pass with a song about sunshine in my mins. There will be storms in all the chapters of our lives and there will be days when it is seems the storms will never end; however, if you hang on, there will be better days and sunny skies on the horizon.    

#irs That IRS Letter

I had spent the day playing trucks, trains, and blocks with my toddler grandsons before stopping by Fairway for some birthday-weekend-goodies.  I was planning on spending the waning hours of the evening working on reading responses from my grad students and working on slides for this week's classes. I had every minute scheduled before bed.  I arrived home ready to roll.

Then I put my hand in the mailbox and saw it, a letter from the IRS addressed to me, the estate manager. The lump in my throat grew immediately to a size that allowed me to just barely swallow and  the my blood pressure soared to new heights as I imagined the potential questions, reviews. additional fees, and potential audit inside.  

I put away groceries and made tea and I was actually shaking by the time I opened the big fat letter with certain disastrous news.....and then.....I could hardly believe the words from the IRS....."can you please complete this survey about the time and money estates spend the fulfill their tax obligations."!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS survey I was glad to do...in fact...I abandoned my plans for the evening....drank 2 cups of tea....and was happy to share that I have spent.......countless hours.....managing estates in the last few years,,,,,and the IRS paperwork is INSANE!  I am hoping they sent this survey so that things might change in the future!!!!!!! Perhaps, others have complained or at least noticed?

If I had a chance to redo a chapter of my life, I would manage the estates of my mother and my aunt without a second thought.  Yet, the IRS paperwork is pretty intense as it stands now and without a tax attorney and/or an accountant who understands the difference in tax filings, you can be hit with fees, questions, audits, headaches and high blood pressure!

I'll set the alarm to work on slides for next week and celebrate that the IRS asked me what I think rather than telling I am wrong!!!!!

Moral of the story 1 for adults: NOT all IRS letters are bad news.

Moral of the story 2 for adults and for parents of children: ALL meltdowns are the result of not fully understanding the whole situation.