You really don't do much talking as you Aqua Kickbox, so this was our second, exercise friends' coffee group formed from common interests in trying to get "fitter" and "healthier" as we emerged from the pandemic era. Some of us are new to the area and still finding doctors, dentists and hair dressers while others have been here forever. Most live with spouses, but some like me, live alone. I do not usually talk about the loss of my own marriage, other than to my therapist, but somehow, this group felt
comfortable and my story of love and loss came tumbling out over a second cup.
"You should write a book," one of my new friends suggested as if she had been listening to my therapist.
"Are you like dating anyone?" she then asked, pushing my personal protective barrier way beyond its comfort zone.
I had never been asked that question and I was not expecting it, but my response rolled out as if I had. "I'm one and done," I quipped. "I'm trying to learn to love myself."
On the way home, the local nursery was putting out pansies. So, I stopped to buy myself a lovely hanging basket thinking that I really have begun to love and trust myself.
5 comments:
A purchase, a statement...amazing how small moments can be sign posts of our own progress!
It takes SO long to learn to love & trust yourself after a loss of a marriage. I was filled with so many doubts. I took time to just learn how to be me, the me I should have insisted on being during my 27 year marriage. And now, I am in such a better place.
Remember to buy yourself flowers or pick up a treat every now & then. You are worth it!
Kudos to you for being so brave. Offering up this to a group, expressing where you are now, and then writing about it is huge. Give yourself credit and love for doing that. And... continue to buy yourself flowers.
Oh, nice post. I love how you found a caring group to trust, and how that difficult conversation led you to buy a pansy. Perfect! Keep on loving and trusting.
I love pansies! Good for you!
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