Yesterday, what appeared to be a newborn fawn, nestled in my Fairy Garden for the whole day. A part of me wanted to get closer and make sure the fawn was Ok and the rest of me just wanted it to find a safe place away from cars and frankly my house. I really did not want my yard to become a nursery for other nearby, ready to deliver deer. As selfish as it sounds, part of me does not want deer to decimate my gardens. As night fell, he/she seemed to disappear into the landscape, but in my mind, he/she was still there.
I awoke several times during the night wondering if 1) the mother had returned; 2) the fawn was hungry/cold/upset; if the fawn had wandered into the dangerous nearby roads. Unless I went out into the cold rain, I really could not tell. So, I laid in bed thinking about the (in my head) lonely, cold, and hungry fawn. I wondered what I would do if the baby was still there in the morning - alone?
Finally, after a fitful night, I headed into the cold rain before 5 AM in my jammies, hoping my neighbors were not yet awake. My baby fawn was not there but a swarm of mixed emotions filled the empty space in my yard and in my heart. Yes, there was even a little part of my heart that was sad.
6 comments:
What a moment to share! We feel your uncertainty and worry throughout the night. Your post reveals your mixed emotions, but we see caring wins out, as you stand in the cold rain in the dark morning. That is such a vivid image to me, and your line- ‘empty place in my yard and in my heart’ is just right.
You did a great job of conveying the mixed emotions of worrying for the deer and about the deer. And your ending was beautiful, though your worrying is over, there is now a hole.
Sounds as though you had a Bambi moment. There is a somber tone, fitting your emotions, and the photo reinforces that tone. Nothing wrong w/ wanting your garden spared from deer munching, and you can care about the deer, too. These are not mutually exclusive emotions.
I can truly understand your conflicting emotions. Unfortunately, deer can do a lot of damage to trees and plants. Your post completely pulled me into your restless night. Your close is haunting.
I am sure those mixed feelings -- protectiveness of the wild, and the wild invading our spaces -- made for a difficult time.
Kevin
This is a rather unique experience. Your slice conveyed your emotions so well.
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